Tips and Tricks from Working Full Time

I recently had the opportunity to share with a group of  moms from my church about my experience working full time outside the home.  While I certainly don't claim to be an expert in this area, I have gained some wisdom over the last 18+ months of working full-time.

First, a little background....
I am an RN - have been for 10+ years.  I truly love being a nurse, and have worked consistently since graduating college in May 2002.  I always thought that I'd stay at home with my kids once I became a mom, and while I did get the chance do that some, I never thought I'd return to work full-time as early as I did.  But, when my daughter was diagnosed with Apraxia of Speech in January 2011, and my husband lost his job in February 2011, returning to work was the best decision for our family.

I work second shift- I leave my house at 4 pm and get home between 11:30 pm and midnight.  I love this shift- it allows me to be home with my kids in the day, participate in their school activities, have play dates with friends, and see them come home from school.  I miss out on dinner, bath time and bed time, but since my kids go to bed at 7:30 pm, I don't feel like I'm missing much of their awake time.

So, here's the questions that were asked of me at the mom's group, and my corresponding answers-

Our family on a Sunday morning - me dressed in scrubs, ready for work.

1.  What are the pros and cons to you working full time?

• Pros- working full time helps me to be intentional with my time.  It has forced me to be disciplined with my days because I only have until 3:30pm to get everything done.  This means that dinner, cleaning, errands, etc. all has to be done by 3:30.  As well, my time with the kids is limited to prior to 3:30, so I have to be diligent to spend quality time with them each day.  I certainly don't do it perfectly, but I have gained much insight and wisdom about discipline from books mentioned in this post.
• Cons- obviously I'm away from home.  I don't know my kids' bedtime routine or bath time preferences.  I don't know how much they eat for dinner each night.  And as a result, on the nights that I am home, my kids seem to have trouble going to bed and tend to act out simply because "Mommy's home".

2.  How does working full time affect your family positively or negatively?

• Positive:  Provides for my family.  My husband was out of work for 8 months, and then after that, only provided a part-time income for the next 9 months.  My job as a nurse provided more than enough for our family to live.  
• Negative:  Again, it takes me away from home.  My kids and husband miss me, and I miss them.  It pulls me away from my family.
• I also shared about how it affects my church family, since many of my dearest friends are at church.  
• Positive (church family)- allows me to minister to others in discussions about childcare, breastfeeding, pregnancy issues, general pediatric healthcare questions.  It is truly an honor to share my knowledge with my church family.  I get questions almost every Sunday about some nursing-related question... and I love it.  I am quick to refer out to the child's pediatrician if I'm over my head, and I don't hand out a diagnosis (since that is outside of my scope of practice), but I freely discuss side effects of antibiotics, concerns about introducing solids, contagious-ness of viruses, etc.  
• Negative (church family)- I'm not around as much.  As a family, we commit to attend every Sunday and we lead a small group in our home on a regular basis.  But other than that, I don't go to a lot of other activities.  Some of them conflict with my work schedule, and others are scheduled when I am home, but I choose to spend time with my family instead.  I've learned to be okay with this, although it has taken time to make that adjustment.  

3.  What advice would you offer others looking to go back to work?
Two practical pieces of advice-

1. Have your husband on board.  There is no way I could do this without the love of my life.  Not only does he encourage me that this arrangement won't last forever, but he helps out so much around the house.  He mops floors, irons shirts, finishes laundry, cooks dinner, cleans bathrooms, and so much more  Without his willingness and hard work at home, I could not emotionally or mentally continue to work as much as I do.
2. Get organized at home.  Before I went back to work, I took a week to organize my recipe binder.  This is a collection of meals that our family loves, and I use it weekly when I meal plan.  Meal planning is the one area of home management that I do religiously.  I have seen how it keeps our family on budget, keeps a well-stocked fridge and keeps me sane so I don't struggle with "what's for dinner".  I still have quite a ways to go in other home management areas such as cleaning and closet organization, but meal planning is set in our home.

Two spiritual pieces of advice-

1. "This is how God has chosen to provide for our family."  This is the sentence I would say out loud to myself on the drive the first few months of returning to work full time.  Yes, I talked out loud to myself.  I would emphasize different words, starting with "This."  I would say, "THIS is how God has chosen to provide for our family."  Then, I'd say, "This is HOW God has chosen to provide for our family."  You get the point.  Saying this over and over to myself reminded me of God's sovereign plan for our lives, kept His divine plan in the forefront of my mind, and helped me remember that it was His provision for us.
2. "At least we're not going to hell."  There were some pretty dark days in the initial return-to-work weeks.  With my husband out of work, a daughter newly diagnosed with a speech disorder, and a mom who was adjusting to a whole new lifestyle, there were some pretty dark and sad days in our home.  Listening to a sermon sparked the phrase, "At least we're not going to hell", and my husband and I would often say it to each other when the dark days arrived.  It reminded us that no matter how bad things were on earth, we are guaranteed that this life will one day end and we will spend eternity with Jesus Christ.  One day, there will be no more work, all strivings will cease, and worship will be our forever "job".

I anxiously await the day when I will receive the promotion I long for - the promotion to full-time, stay at home mom.  Until that day, I will continue to persevere to provide for our family and balance home management duties.

Anyone out there working full-time?  What are your bits of wisdom?  What are your biggest struggles?